My journey so far & why I started yiflow

 
 
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Let me start from the very beginning. I was born and raised in Switzerland, and have an English father & a Greek mother. She was born and raised in Spain, so I spent a lot of time visiting my family there - I actually felt more Spanish than anything as a child, despite having no Spanish blood at all! So when people ask me where I’m from, I truly have a hard time replying in one short sentence.

After finishing my studies in Switzerland, I moved to Boston when I was 18 to study music. I graduated from Berklee College of Music 4 years later and got a job in a startup in the music business. I lived and worked in New York City for just short of a (very intense) year, before my visa expired and I transferred to the London office. Two years later, the startup I worked for was acquired and I, along many others, was made redundant.

It wasn’t until then that I had actually realised that I had reached total burnout. I had lost my ability to sleep any more than four hours a night, I was functioning entirely due to the adrenaline pumping through my veins. All I knew was tough deadlines and long working hours, so when everything eventually did come to a halt, it was all very strange and unfamiliar.

Although I welcomed the opportunity for change and the exciting prospects of a blank slate, it was a very emotional time having dedicated so much hard work to this company for 3 years, and create so many close friendships along the way. I decided to take some time to truly think of what kind of work I would want to do next, while finally fully dedicating my energy to writing and recording my music at home.

My job came to an end in October 2017 and I pressured myself in the months leading up to Christmas to write and record an EP, so that I had some material to properly gig around London. I knew I had to get back to work at some point, so I allowed myself until January to work on the music, rest, rethink and essentially… relaunch myself into the workplace! I couldn’t rest for that long after all…! Even though I had to find a ‘proper job’ again, I knew having my songs written, EP recorded and material ready to continue growing the music thing alongside that, would provide me with a basic level of satisfaction at work.

Come December, I had no new songs written, and only bits of old songs recorded - I felt nothing but unhappy and upset with my poor output. My meticulous plan didn’t unfold as expected. This whole journey got me to the conclusion that creating music wasn’t bringing joy to my life, and so there was no point in me trying to pursue it still. Since attending Berklee, my relationship to my art had been fragile, so I began letting go of this idea that I would someday become an accomplished singer-songwriter, and carried on with what I knew I had to do - find a ‘proper’ job.

In January 2018, I got a job offer for a company in Sustainability that I thought I wanted when I interviewed back in November (if it wasn’t Music, at least I was making the world a better place). I really I wanted this opportunity to be mine, and it also aligned with all the main things society asks of us these days. And then, when the opportunity was indeed presented to me, I found myself at a fork in the road: either take this sales job at another startup; or trust that something else was meant for me. At that moment, I came to the realisation that it wasn’t because I was capable of doing something, that I had to do it. And so, I did the most unimaginable thing possible at the time, and said no to the ‘perfect’ job, simply because I knew this wasn’t my purpose in the long run. And that’s exactly what changed my life fundamentally - only seeking and saying yes to things that felt exhilarating and in full alignment with where I wanted my life be.

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After letting go of the idea of becoming an accomplished singer songwriter, I needed time to grieve this dream and identity. I was jobless, and to be perfectly honest, quite depressed. I made a promise to myself at that time, to leave the house at least once a day to go to my local yoga studio. This is when I delved even deeper into my yoga and meditation practice, as I found nothing had much meaning in my life anymore, if it wasn’t going to be about music. It was also then that I met my healer and close friend Maria, who’s crystal reiki healing sessions have been paramount to my journey.

Since then, the last 2+ years been transformational to say the least, and I have grown so much, in so little time! What I have understood is that my work defines my lifestyle, so after working in several industries and holding various levels of responsibility, I have come to realise the joy I hold in sharing the self growth / self healing journey I am on with others. I created yiflow as my way of sharing my own healing journey, and the modalities I have found helpful along the way. This has naturally brought me to a place of wanting to study and teach yoga, as it has been such a transformational addition to my life. The highlight of the last few years was undoubtedly my trip to India in April-May 2019, where I studied Sattva Yoga in the lower Himalayas with Anand Mehrotra.

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This practice has truly supported my own healing journey in ways I can barely describe, and my intention is to pass that on to anyone open to exploring themselves through it. Along the years, I have also found immense healing in practicing Yin Yoga and find so much pleasure in sharing the practice today. Meditation is something I discovered while studying at Berklee, when I took a class called Multicultural Contemplation, where we explored meditation through the lens of various religions and eastern practices. Funny how it all comes full circle…

Today, I have transformed my life 360 degrees. I live more in tune with nature’s cycles, allowing myself to rest when I need, and embrace my productivity to its fullest when it comes through. I have understood the freedom I need and ultimately seek in my life - it has been the driving force pushing me beyond my deepest fears and literally changing the way I operate. I’m learning every day how to dance with the flow of this Universe, to let go of my conditioning and desire to control. It’s not always easy, in fact it’s super challenging! But if I have learned anything in the last few years it’s to lean into my practice fully, and to be absolutely devoted to my own healing and evolution. As I change my state of consciousness, the lens with which I experience life changes. I see it for myself every day, in the way my experience of life has expanded…. and that is exactly what I hope to share in my journey as a teacher here today.

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